FUNNY thing of the day
FUNNY THINGS for the time being.... # ZE JUMPAR MEMEZ page # My boss told me yesterday, “You shouldn't dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want”. But when I turned up today in Ghostbusters clothes, he said I was fired. # I thought my neighbours were lovely people. Then they went and put a password on their wi-fi. # Q. What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? A. I don’t know, and I don’t care. # A lot of people cry when they cut an onion. The trick is not to form an emotional bond. # The past, present and future walked into a bar. It was tense. # What do you call bears with no ears? B # Two gold fish are in a tank. One looks at the other and says, “You know how to drive this thing?!” # I waited and stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. Then it dawned on me. # What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells. # I told my friend 10 jokes to get him to laugh. Sadly, no pun in 10 did. # A German, Asian, and an American walked in to a bar. I ducked. # We have fingertips but no toe tips. Yet we can tip toe and not tip finger....... # Who is a chicken’s favorite musician? Bach. # What happens when you go on a date with a root vegetable?Your heart beets fast. # What’s the scariest kind of beverage?The tea-rex. # Why did the bike fall over? It was two tired. # What kind of bagel can fly?A plain bagel # Why are skeletons lonely? They have no body. # What kind of fruit is a crook? A Strobbery. # How do you make holy water? Take regular water and boil the hell out of it. # Sometimes I feel like I have my life together and then I'm like WOW that was a really nice 45 seconds.. # Who walks into a restaurant, eats shoots and leaves? A panda. # There are two muffins in an oven.One muffin turns to the other muffin and says, "Boy, it's hot in here." The other muffin says, "OH MY GOD A TALKING MUFFIN." # Q. What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? A. put it on my "bill". # What do you call a fish without eyes? FSH # Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they're gonna pay. You have my Word. # How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it. # What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey. # I, for one, like Roman numerals. # On the other hand, you have different fingers. # Q: what did the construction worker say after he finished a fence? A: NAILED IT # Things to do today: 1.wake up 2.survive 3. go back to bed # potatoes have skin... I have skin...therefore I MUST BE A POTATO! # Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award? A: Because he was outstanding in his field # Today at the bank an old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over # Q: What lights up a soccer stadium? A: A soccer match. # I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner as all it was doing was gathering dust. # Meanwhile, in a parallel universe: “Oh for God’s sake! Where are all these extra single socks coming from?!” # Are you a cheetah? NO, you lion! PLEASE ADD YOUR OWN JOKES/MEMES HERE AND LEAVE A COMMENT IF SOMETHING MADE YOU LAUGH OR SMILE. LET MINNOW IN THE COMMENTS. :P THANK YOU!!! please do not make fun of others or your self __NOEDITSECTION__